I both love and hate my Blackberry. Last year, I heard about a phenomenon where people thought they heard their cell phone ringing or that little Pavlovian bell that rings when an email arrives. Now I find myself imagining the little red light in the upper right corner is blinking when it really isn't.

Today I am trying to re-train myself. I set the notifications on my Blackberry to LOUD so that there is no mistaking when an email or text arrives. Sure the two emails I have received this morning nearly gave me heart attacks (they are serious when they use the word LOUD). But it beats sitting and staring at my stupid phone waiting for the light to blink.

That's all I have so far.

Rock on!

Hello...

It's been awhile. I've been mostly just posting pictures over on Facebook, and keeping things light. I'm pretty sure Lacey's the only one who reads my blog, ha ha ha! Hi Lacey....

One thing I have noticed lately is that I am pinning more and more baggage on times of day. I pretty much always got depressed on Sunday nights, but before now, it was because I was dreading starting the new work week. Now, I dread how everyone ELSE will be going to work the following day, but I'll be left behind. I'll be honest, Monday mornings are very lonely sometimes. Today was a Monday, and I woke up with a TERRIBLE headache. I'm going to pay attention next Monday, hopefully this isn't a pattern.

I also am beginning to dread 4 PM. I can pretty much hold out hope that something will go on with a job, but once it's 4, I give up on anyone calling me or emailing me. I figure, anyone I interviewed with or even sent my resume to has started trying to wrap their own day up. So you know how 4 to 7 is typically called "Happy Hour"? Well, right now... not so much.

Sorry Sunday nights, Monday mornings, and every day from 4 to about 7. Someday, I'll be employed again, and you can be baggage free. Except you, Sunday nights. I'll always have JUST a little dread on Sunday nights :)

Lately, I've taken up bread baking. If you're on Facebook and we're friends, you've probably seen some pictures. I don't know how to put pictures in this blog. I'll write, then see if I can figure it out.

It's been fun, and so far there haven't been any disasters. I do need to figure out more about baking with honey instead of sugar though. I've been using a one to one measurement, and I don't think that's accurate.

Anyway, when I first started I had this totally new agey philosophy - ohhhhhhhh, I'm creating things with my own haaaaaaands, and the whole process is supposed to be all cathartic...especially kneading the dough. So the first loaf or two, I tried to think all these good thoughts while I was kneading, bla bla bla.... Well, that didn't really work. It made my mind wander less towards good thoughts and more towards why I have to go through all these efforts to forget bad stuff, and then of course, on to rotten stuff from the recent-ish past.

So I decided to just go with it. Now, when I'm pounding the dough, and throttling it against the cutting board, if "bad" thoughts come into my head, I focus on pounding them into the bread and processing them that way. It gives me GREAT glee and satisfaction to know that those thoughts are in that bread, and I'm going to eat them, take good energy out of them, then poop them out.

Crass, sure. But pooping out bad thoughts beats letting them fester in my brain, am I right?

Now to figure out how to post a picture... Ok, got it. It's at the top of the page now.

Onward and upward!